It seems easy enough. Just throw away the scale and live my best healthy life. Right?
Wrong.
At the end of 2018, I confessed to you all my failure in sticking with my health goal.
In evaluating why I learned that I need to focus on gaining mental clarity before determining how I can change my physique. So my major health goal for 2019 was to let go of the scale.
At the beginning of the year, I put my scale in the closet. You see, it will not work on carpet, so I felt that moving the scale to my closet was ok.
No need to actually throw my scale away.
What if I needed to weigh something?
In hindsight, I have ALWAYS measured the success of any personal fitness or diet journey through the gains and losses of the scale.
Health coaches everywhere caution us mere mortals against scale goals, citing the negative mental health effects of attaching overall health to faulty metrics.
Though I know that advice to be sound, I ignored all of that logic until 2019.
At the end of January, I felt free and happy without the scale, but I did not like how my body appeared.
In February, I decided to weigh myself once a month, just to have a metric for whether or not my healthy eating and fitness were actually helping me reach said goals.
I gave myself wiggle room and the scale did not budge a single pound.
Naturally, I was not happy with that result.
That led to a month of indulgence in April and detox in May. Specifically, a five-day water fast. Full stop.
That water fast was the best thing I did for my physical health in 2019.
Throw the scale away and change focus
I confronted my sweets addiction, bored snacking, and what I see when I look in the mirror all in a matter of five days.
Plus, my digestive system reset itself. By the end of my fast, I felt less bloated and recommitted to my health goals.
I weighed myself one last time and then actually threw away my scale.
Throw Away The Scale
I finally had to confront my negative self-talk and live with my body as it were.
During Florida summers, people do not wear much clothing, so I found myself falling into the comparison trap. Though I stopped weighing myself or dieting, I still had not mentally figured out how to judge my body without a scale.
Finally, I named how my body looked and felt, and just let go.
Instead, I focused on responding to hunger and making conscious choices when it comes to food consumption. If I choose to have sweets, I will. Without worrying about how that would affect my weight.
Furthermore, I stopped choosing exercise programs that I do not enjoy to achieve maximum definition.
I am not a bodybuilder, nor do I have a bodybuilder physique goal.
So why was I trying to eat three meals and two snacks a day? Focus on protein? Because the internet told me that I should.
I put a stop to the quest for more muscle and less fat. Consequently, my outlook on food and how I saw my body changed.
Am I completely happy with my body? No, but I am finding my way toward a healthy mentality.
I spent the latter part of 2019 learning what types of exercise I enjoy. And searching for new recipes to enjoy cooking real food at home.
Lastly, I now focus on responding to hunger and deciding when to stop eating instead of finishing all that I put on my plate.
Looking ahead
Moving into 2020, I am setting health goals around exercising regularly and staying away from obviously unhealthy foods.
My 2020 goals will have nothing to do with weight loss. Instead, I want to focus on living a healthy life in which I do not obsess over how my body appears to myself or the rest of the world.
Letting go of the scale turned into an opportunity for personal growth and acceptance. An opportunity for me to dig deep and deal with my negative relationship with food and negative self-talk.
I inadvertently began intuitive eating, and have NO IDEA how much I weigh.
And that feels damn good.
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